Star Wars Parody
by tboulay35
Summary: This is a Star Wars Parody by Trevor


A long time ago in a galaxy far far away from what we consider normal here on earth, a raging battle for intergalactic independence is underway.

The old republic was wiped out after the first civil war, leaving the dark side lead by the infamous Darth Vader, alive and thriving.

On the planet of Tatooine the pale sand and high winds, kicked up a massive dust storm, making visibility throughout the region almost nothing at all. The young man on the speeder riding through the hills, wears a long dark robe, maked to both hide his facial features, for he is a wanted man, and also to keep him from inhaling more sand than air. The hills are steeper than steep, leaving little room for error, if you slip off, you're going down, and it's going to be a rough landing.

After finally scaling the hill the robed man rode the speeder down the opposite side and down to the tiny hut adjacent to the cantina. This hut and cantina were where deals were made regarding intergalactic trade, and other criminal activities.

The robed man did not remove his mask before entering the cantina, probably the smartest move when entering a place like this, letting less people recognize you, especially with your status.

The man sat down at a table directly across from the bar that was situated directly in the middle of everything, which would be most likely the worst place to sit.

As the robed man sits down, he is immediately joined by another masked man, one who is wearing the same style of robe but just a different color, almost the same color as the sand swirling around in the wind.

The two men immediately start in conversation, but I cannot pick up what they're saying, with their faces covered by the masks I cannot make out any kind of lip movements either.

I am far in the corner of the cantina, hidden behind one of the door frames. The owner was kind enough to let me use this area of his establishment. It may have took some threats and a flash of a weapon for it to happen, but he agreed to do the deed.

I sit there in silence, trying to listen to the conversation, as well as figure out who the masked man that sat down was.

Every now and then the two will look around suspiciously, as if they knew someone was watching. I was watching, yet their masked faces would never circle to the are of which I was.

Troubled, I move to exit out of the back of the cantina, for my cover must have been blown.

As I move the curtain that leads to the outside world, I am greeted by those two masked men who I am searching for. Their robes are waving in the wind and the flash of their lightsabers swinging from their hips, glisten in the sunlight. Having seen the hardware, I draw my own lightsaber, patiently waiting for them to do the same. The repetitive hum of the blade sitting in the air seemed to be the only sound at the time on the planet. Other than that, dead silence.

I mve to make the first step, and that is when the two masked men draw their lightsabers and counter the step with a slide backwards. Their gleaming weapons hold the same hum as mine in the air, and there is a slight pause before the masked man on the left makes the first advance.

He steps and lunges at me, I counter the attack, and the second man comes at me in the same fashion. I push with great force out of my right hand, and without laying a finger on him the man goes flying into the sand dune just behind him. Knocking the lightsaber out of his hand and leaving him motionless for a few seconds against the pale sand. For the remaining masked man, I start to go on the attack. I advance at him with a vicious step and jab towards him, making him lose his balance as he tries to counter the attack. I am too quick and am able to connect with his saber, I twist and it pierces his right hand. The hand comes clean off, and the agonizing pain the man experienced made him yell out a cry that made all life on the planet stop. No blood poured from the wound, for the blade is so hot it singed everything.

I run off and hop on the speeder that I watched the first masked man arrive on, leaving the two there, for this was all I needed at the time.

By the time I get back to the hangar bay it is night time, the darkness of night surrounds the planet, leaving the only light source as the faint sun that is always present.

The planet features two suns, one on a much farther orbit than the other, the two suns meet at a certain point everyday, at varying times throughout the day. That is the only absolute darkness that the world experiences. This is also the time that terrible atrocities are committed, no light, it's the perfect time, no one can see anything, so why not?

The next time that total darkness would occur was on the following day at around noon time, when both the suns reached the top of the sky, and on covers the other for only a few brief minutes, resulting in absolute darkness.

This is when I will execute both of the masked men. Depending on whether or not the one that got slammed into the sand dune on Tatooine lived or not.

I'm guessing that he did, there was no reason why he wouldn't, unless he was old and brittle, but he fought like an experienced fighter, so that would seem almost impossible.

 **The Following Day**

I awake the next day, and travel from Tatooine to the planet of Coruscant. This was the plant in which my intel provided that the two rebel scum had traveled to. It was my job, given to me by a higher power, to eliminate the two, and make sure that there would be no more rebel interference in the way of the dark side.

The planet of Coruscant, was the old home of the Republic, first lead by Emperor Palpatine, who now, after his tragic accident, is the leader of the dark side, my boss, who has ordered me to execute these two last remaining valued members of the rebel resistance.

Coruscant was one of the more beautiful, valued, and most traveled planets in the galaxy. It could be seen why, the whole world, was built up into the clouds, ground level was just plain grasslands, no inhabitants, just blankness, all of the action was in the sky. Living in the clouds may be taken figuratively, but on the planet Coruscant, that was the motto that they lived by, literally.

I land at the old senate hall, where the Jedi's use to conduct all of their operations, their home. This building was now a museum, a remembrance of the Jedi's who died for all of the citizens freedoms. Which now, they had none of. The dark side, is now trying to take control of this temple and destroy it, so that way no citizen can see this memorial and think of what they could be.

I enter the temple, and look around, disgusted, half of these men and women Jedi's were ones that I had personally gotten rid of. This also made me feel proud, and now, the last of the resistance would be ridden of.

The back of the temple leads to the underground section of the temple, where the resistance still meets. Figuring the front doors to the underground would be locked, I make my back around through the tunnels that had been dug during the clone wars to quickly evacuate the temple incase of an attack. The back entrance of the underground was accessed by a door at the end of the last long tunnel. Small lights illuminate the way along the tunnel, dim, but still bright enough to see if you're going to run into anything.

At the back door, I ready my blaster rifle, just in case anything were to pop off in the first few seconds. I use the unscrambler to unlock the door, which had a thought to be, impossible to break code, but a little dark side engineering will get the job done just fine.

I slowly swing the door open inch by inch at a time, making sure that it will not creak and set off my presence. As I get past the first few inches I am able to see the once before masked men, sitting in the giant chairs that the Jedi use to be seen in in the temple.

One of the men is younger, white, with medium length blonde hair, his eyes shine bluer than the sky that Coruscant is cast by. The other man is older, his salt and pepper hair advise him that he is way past his prime. I immediately recognize both, the older one, my old master, and the younger, my son.

I ready my rifle, it peeks out the door just enough, so that way the shot can be made, but not far enough for the other man to recognize where it came from.

I slowly squeeze and off goes the shot, the rifle is designed so that at one pull of the trigger, two supercharged lasers, scorching hot, drive themselves into the victim, scorching them from the inside out, a for sure death.

Both lasers slam into both my master and my son, leaving them both motionless, death takes around one minute, so I went to make sure that the last thing both saw, were the man that had betrayed them both, and shown them that if they had joined me that their demise would not be met like this. I first walk over to my master, and unveil my face underneath my mask. He is shocked, his face expressionless, he moans under his dying breath, "Anakin, how could you?"

My son then turns, "Dad? Why would you do this to me?"

I respond, "I told you to join me, you, unfortunately, didn't heed my advice, and now this is where we part."

Both of the men became motionless, and I am devastated. How did I just kill my one and only son?

Emperor Palpatine, walks through the same door that I entered in.

"Good Anakin," he says through his raspy damaged voice.

"Your job is done, I feel confident that you can take my place when I am gone," he follows up.

"No need for that," I say, and i turn the gun on my master, and squeeze the trigger.

It was just that easy, and I had never felt better, more alive, even though everyone I ever loved, was dead.


End file.
